(when everyone else offers you a cheeseburger)

When was the last time you actually followed a healthier eating plan for a month? Three months? When did you last dust off your treadmill or take the clothes off your your stationary bicycle and actually use them more than once? If you can't seem to shake loose of bad habits and build healthy new ones, you're probably missing a key ingredient: motivation. Here are some steps that will help you get going and keep going.

If weight loss is a goal, concentrate on making wise food choices and eating sensible portions instead of starving or depriving yourself. As for fitness, ask yourself how you can fit activity into your current schedule. In my experience, a great deal of the time, it's an organization problem. You need to learn how to consolidate activities and multi-task. But here are some ways to start thinking success, And when you start thinking success, you will succeed.

• Learn how to forgive yourself for occasional lapses. Trust me: they're going to happen. Despite your best intentions, you are going to go to lunch with friends one day and eat outside your eating plan. Don't spend the rest of the day or the week beating yourself up about it. Recognize it, think of a plan to make up for the indiscretion and move on. Someone once said "To falter is not to fail." You are going to stumble and trip along the road to a healthier you. It's what you do when you stumble that will determine your ultimate success in reaching your goal. It's easy to stick with a healthier lifestyle when everything is just perfect. The test is when things are not perfect. Potholes are on every road. When you falter, pick yourself up and dust yourself off and continue to move forward on your new, healthier path. Remember. consistency is key.
• Get Support. Make sure your family and friends know about your health goals, and ask for their encouragement and understanding. If you don't get it - an don't be surprised if you don't - consider joining a weight-support group. Weight Watchers™ has weekly meetings that can be a great help for support and information about weight loss. While I am not a big plan of their selling food products for their plan, I do feel the idea of support meetings is an excellent one. And you don't have to be a Weight Watchers™ disciple to attend the meetings. Overeaters Anonymous™ is also useful for those who have a real problem with overeating and eating disorders. They have meetings all over the U.S. and a search of my local area produced several meetings for support. These are two groups that can give the sort of acceptance and social support you could possibly use while losing weight.
• Set realistic goals. In the words of Dr. Phil, "get real!" You are not going to sprinkle magic fairy dust on your pillow one night and wake up the next morning looking like Kathy Ireland or Brad Pitt. You can't lose 30 pounds in 30 days unless you lose a heck of a lot of muscle mass in the process. And you won't look like Jennifer Anniston or Arnold Schwarzenegger, no matter how hard you try. Who cares? If you're trying to lose weight or stick to an exercise program? forget about fast fixes and dramatic results and go for slow, steady improvement. Better health - not good looks or a size 6 - should be your primary goal. Focus on introducing healthful habits that gradually become a part of your daily routine. Trust me, if you live healthier all the "other stuff" (a healthier weight being one) will come just as surely as spring follows winter.
• Think positive. If your reasons for wanting to change are externally based ("1 want to stop smoking because my mother died of cancer.") or based on pleasing others ("If I lose 20 pounds, my spouse will love me more" or "I'll get that job promotion!"), it's time to re-think your reasons for making a change in weight or any other behavior. Think of personal, internal benefits - "Quitting smoking will give me more energy, improve my health, freshen my breath, and build my bank account!," for example. Research shows that self-generated, internal drives for change gets the best and most long-lasting results.
• Reward even small advances. Day after day, week after week I have patients who come in and lose 3 or 4 pounds in 2 weeks (by the way, that's a healthy rate of weight loss). Are they happy? Are they satisfied? Nope! "I wanted to lose more!" is the inevitable reply. Losing the first five pounds, or sticking to your walking program for a month are significant achievements. Rome, nor you, were not built in a day! Recognize and reward small steps by setting realistic, weekly, monthly and yearly goals. Think long term. Here's an example plan:
  • "I want to lose weight at a rate of 2 pounds per week. If I lose less or hit a plateau and lose nothing, I will accept this and continue forward."
  • "I plan to lose 5-6 pounds per month. I know some weeks I will lose less than 2 pounds, some weeks I will lose more. That's fine."
  • "I I reach my monthly goal, I will have treat myself to a (insert something you find really rewarding here)." It could be a new dress, a movie and a good dinner out, a manicure or a 1/2 massage. Use something pleasurable and important to you.
  • "I have 50 pounds to lose to reach my goal weight. I plan to achieve that goal in no less than 20 weeks and no more than 30 weeks. My goal date is (pick a significant date in a realistic period of time)."
  • "When I have achieved my goal weight, I will (something really big here)." It could be a vacation, a new wardrobe, or anything you want.
• Respect yourself. Developing self-respect and working to meet your own needs is essential for long-lasting change. Start delegating tasks to family members and colleagues to build some time for yourself. Stop saying "Sure, I can do that for you" and learn to say "No, I have to spend that time exercising." Standing up for yourself is necessary in a world that makes frequent demands on your limited free time. You are important enough and worthwhile enough to say "no!" People will, eventually, accept these responses and respect the new you. It may come as a shock to those who are quite used to depending on you for things they could do, themselves, but it's time to take time for you to become healthier. If your friendship with these people is based on your doing things for them, it's not much of a friendship anyway. People who truly love and respect you and want what's best for you will understand and work with you.